The Amazon II: Endless Abyss

Tito and Martin are moving around me in a circular motion. Everything seems like it is in slow motion. I am in a temporary state of panic and hysteria. I cannot breathe. As they hop around me in what looks like a limited gravity environment, they are saying “breathe Casey, you are almost there.” I am reading their lips, the only sound I can hear is the over-worked beating of my own heart. I am sitting on the top of a pyramid of rocks, I can see the rapids of the river below me. My task is to merely move from the rock that is supporting me, cross over a 1 foot hole that drops down to the water, and get to the rock on the other side so I can begin my descend down. I am paralyzed. My brain is telling my limbs not to move. My fear is debilitating. I try to comfort and remind myself, “this is why we are here. This is why we drove 15 hours through torrential flooding, through landslides, and through the land of thieving monkeys. This is why we came. We came to see the colossal waterfall!”

We arrived in Misahualli two days ago. When we arrived the storm was too strong and dangerous, preventing us from making the trek into the jungle to see the waterfall. The storm eventually subsided, the clouds dissipated, and the once hijacked sun brakes free. We explore the small town. There are a couple of locals that we meet down by the river. They own a boat. They offer to take us on a boat ride down the Amazon river and they know of a much smaller waterfall that is closer and safer to get to. We each pay our five dollars and we are off. The boat ride was relaxing and amazing. We arrive at the access point to the “small” waterfall. There are a group of young kids, probably between the ages of 6 and 8, swinging from a rope into the river. They are waving at us and waiting to have our undivided attention before they make their individual catapult into the river. They are happy. I love witnessing that kind of unbridled enthusiasm captivated by the simplest pleasures in life. We clap for them, wave back, and give them our thumbs up of approval, before we head into the jungle. The walk into the jungle was only a couple of minutes and the waterfall seemed gigantic to me. We spent about an hour swimming in the crystal clear, but freezing water at foot of the waterfall. Tomorrow we will try again for the gigantic waterfall. I am excited, but a little nervous. The journey today was only a few minutes and it was not the easiest terrain to concur. I am told tomorrow’s hike will be about an hour in and an hour out.

We return to town mid-day. The sun is still shinning. We jump in Tito’s van. We are off to explore! After about a half hour drive through the jungle, the land and sky open up and reveal a gigantic city. It seemed so out of place. You expect to find little small towns in the middle of nowhere, but stumbling upon a metropolis is very unusual. Of course, we have to explore and we are getting hungry. We find a market. Tito has told us that in this region, grubs (a large worm found in the Amazon jungle) are a delicacy. I am hesitant, mostly because of they are bugs, but I need to try this. I do not regret my decision, but I immediately have compassion and remorse for what the grubs have to endure so I can eat. They are skewered, three at a time, from their bottom though their top. Then their guts are sliced open to prevent them from exploding while they are being cooked. Lastly, they set them on a fiery grill. I understand they are just insects, but that sounds horrifying! One-by-one, we each, Mel, Tito, Martin, and myself try the grubs. The first one was very difficult to get down. I remind myself it is just ‘mind over matter.’ Once I got the idea and the image out of my head of what I was consuming, the second one was easier and actually tasted kind of good. But still, I am not interested in having a full meal made of bugs. We leave and find a proper restaurant.

We wake up the next morning relatively early. We have breakfast and then we are on our way to the waterfall! Our one hour hike into the woods turns into a three hour trek through an unpredictable jungle. I have always felt so fortunate, my whole life, that I have had amazing friends. The friends I have made over the years in Ecuador are not an exception. I understand that the only reason it took us three times longer is because I was with the group. I felt unbalanced and unsafe the entire journey, due to the heights. The “path” was very muddy and the rocks were incredible slippery. With every step I felt unstable. I just met Mel two days prior. She was so sweet and patient. She literally held my hand the entire way. I had Martin behind me in case I slipped backwards. And Tito went ahead of us to warn us of any pitfalls or other dangers on the cliff. Tito tells us that there are certain areas where we cannot stand in one spot too long because there are fire ants. As Mel holds my one hand, I try to avoid stepping on the ant colonies, and I am utilizing additional support by using my other hand to support myself on the hillside wall. I am oblivious to the reality that the ants are not just a potential danger below my feet. I touch the mountain wall. It is covered in moss. Within seconds, my hand is covered in gigantic red ants. I felt the bite of each ant with the intensity of 10 bee stings! In a way, I felt like everything in the wilderness of the Amazon was trying to harm me. Just moments before this, I pushed a branch out of my way, again, it felt like a swarm of bees attacked me. I looked at the branch and it was covered in tiny, almost invisible spikes. The plant poisoned me. Within moments my whole hand was swollen. The burning was almost unbearable. Almost every living thing on this planet has a defense mechanism; self-preservation. I pondered why? Why do so many plants provide so many benefits to humans through harvesting and their destruction; while others poison you for coming close to them, to protect their well-being. But it actually makes perfect sense; plants are not that different than humans. There are people out there that expel unconditional love. And then there are just unhappy assholes that exist too. I was just poisoned by an asshole of the plant world.

After a long, exhausting, and at times, terrifying three hour hike, we have made it! I can hear the waterfall and feel it’s mist. We jump in the water and swim to the fall. Now, I understand why the locals referred to the waterfall yesterday as “small.” I have never seen anything like this. I am now at peace in nature. Everything is perfect and well worth the three hours of stress to get here. The water fall is memorizing; almost hypnotic. I watch the water fall from the top of the mountain and follow it down to the bottom of the pool, where I am floating. The water is magical. After gazing for a while I feel like my eyes are slowing the water down. The water looks as if it is turning to ice cycles as it flows down the fall. The ice shatters and is absorbed by the water at the bottom of the fall. Beautiful! We stand under the water to feel the fall’s power. We swim for another hour or two.

We are starting to get hungry and the sun is getting lower in the sky. Tito tells me that we do not need to take the hike back through the jungle. He suggests that we swim through the river to get back. Perfect! I am in! Pepper, Tito’s dog is with us. It will be almost impossible for her to go down the river with us. Mel volunteers to take the path back with pepper. She stays behind with Pepper and swims a little longer. Tito, Martin, and I start down the river. The river is a little more challenging than I expected. But still, for now, I like it better than the jungle. We climb, from rock to rock. We swim, where swimming is possible. It is physically exhausting. We have been gone for about a half hour. We have to be getting close, I think to myself. We enter a point where the river does not necessarily end, but we are forced to climb up. We climb the rocks to the top of the plateau. This is where our story began. Tito and Martin are hopping around me to show me how easy it is to get over the top of the pyramid. They tell me it is only an eight foot drop if I do fall. Eight feet?? For me, I cannot see the bottom. It looks like an endless abyss of nothingness! I cannot move. I try and collect myself. I am asked if I can make it. As I look down and at the rapids behind me, I tell them, that I am passed the point of no return. I have no choice. I have to continue. Tito sees Mel! The path is close. There is another option. Tito asks me if I want to try and continue on the river or if I want to join Mel and take the path back. I choose Mel. We make our way to the path. I felt that our half hour trek through the river would give us a commanding lead. It did not. We were only two minutes from the fall via the jungle path. The way back was exactly as the way there, Mel held my hand the whole way keeping me safe. It took us another three hours to escape the jungle. We finally hit flat ground. I can see light at the end of the tunnel. I have never felt so happy. Then Mel stops in her tracks. She lifts up her foot. A gigantic fire ant has not only buried his/her pinchers in her foot, but also their head. I have always considered myself as that individual that expels unconditional love. If I see a stranger about to get hit by a vehicle, I will push them out of the way. I will take the hit so they don’t have to. That is the kind of man I am! Or at least that is the way I use to think. Now, I am not so sure. That day, Mel not only patiently held my hand for five and a half hours, with zero complaint, she gave me wonderful words of encouragement. When I felt I was failing, she told me how impressed she was with me. She kept reminding me how proud she was of me. That is an amazing person. The moment she was in distress and needed support, I dropped her hand. I ran. I ran hard and I ran fast. There were fire ants everywhere. I was so agile. I was so proud of myself. I was hoping Mel was watching. She would be so proud of me too! I did make it to the street. Sorry for leaving you Mel. I could never have made it without you. Thank you Tito and Martin. Again, my friends are awesome. Love you guys!